Happiness is a state of well-being where a person feels deeply satisfied and finds meaning in their life. A happy person tends to experience positive emotions, such as joy and excitement, more frequently than negative ones like sadness, anxiety, or anger.
However, being happy doesn’t mean always smiling, laughing, or avoiding emotional discomfort. Research shows that happiness often comes from being self-disciplined and making intentional efforts to savor life’s simple pleasures.
Is There a Certain Age for Peak Happiness?
There’s no concrete evidence that happiness is tied to a specific age. However, age can influence how we experience positive or negative emotions. For instance, in high-income countries like the U.S. and Australia, middle-aged adults often face uncertainty due to job insecurity, financial pressures, professional responsibilities, and the demands of both childcare and eldercare.
Do We Make Choices Solely to Maximise Happiness?
A long-standing assumption is that people make decisions to seek pleasure and avoid pain. But if that were entirely true, why do some people who seem to “have it all” still dwell in unhappiness, dissatisfaction, and constant complaints?
The reality is that certain personality types may be more prone to unhappiness.
5 Traits of Unhappy People
- Insecurity – Unhappy people often feel inadequate, fearing rejection. This insecurity can lead them to reject others first to avoid facing rejection themselves, displaying self-sabotaging behavior.
- Constant Comparisons – They frequently compare their lives to others and feel envious, believing others have easier, better lives. This jealousy stems from a lack of joy in their own lives.
- Low Energy or Motivation – Chronic fatigue can set in, leaving them grumpy and exhausted. Even simple activities like getting out of bed or going for a walk can feel like burdens.
- Pervasive Negativity – Negative words and complaints dominate their vocabulary, and they tend to gossip and focus on the downsides of life rather than the positives.
- Playing the Victim – They find life’s challenges overwhelming, often blaming others for their problems instead of taking responsibility for their own actions and decisions.
Are We Hardwired for Unhappiness?
Constant unhappiness can drive people away, whether family, friends, or coworkers. But much of this unhappiness is influenced by our habits, choices, and mental state.
Here are some psychological reasons for unhappiness:
- Lifelong struggles with trauma or frequent negative experiences
- Low self-esteem or insecurity
- Growing up in environments where unhappiness was the norm
- Fear of happiness due to the unpredictability it brings, preferring the comfort of the familiar
- An underlying mental health condition that fuels unhappiness
Various mental health disorders, including anxiety, depression, and eating disorders like binge eating, anorexia, and bulimia, can exacerbate feelings of unhappiness.
Taking Control of Your Happiness
Life circumstances play a smaller role in our happiness than we might think. True happiness comes from our habits and outlook on life. Breaking free from the cycle of unhappiness involves making conscious changes in your behavior. If this feels overwhelming, seeking professional help can be transformative.
Counselling can help uncover underlying mental health issues, resolve internal conflicts, and provide tools to boost confidence and satisfaction, ultimately restoring happiness in your life.
Renee Johnston a Sunshine Coast psychologist supporting adults experiencing stress, anxiety and/or low mood. You can be assured of being treated non-judgmentally and with warmth, respect and acceptance.